Your words are inked into my skin,
Across my back,
Upon my shoulders,
Down my side.
In red permanent marker,
It bleeds through my skin,
Into my veins,
Through my bones,
But mostly into my heart.
You gave me your signature as a tattoo where I’ve always wanted one,
And etched everywhere are words that I never want to forget.
But nothing lasts forever,
That’s what you taught me,
And the not so permanent marker will fade,
Where the only thing left is the smear of letters,
And the reminder that you’re out there and will be okay.
May 2013
I forget about the medication sometimes.
It’s routine to take them,
But it’s no longer common knowledge in my head saying, “you’re on meds all the time.”
It’s been since the end of March.
I don’t even know if they work.
I’ve rarely missed a dose,
I don’t take them on nights when I drink anymore because it’s just fucks me up the next day.
Nights when I take them late I only half my dose.
I still worry they make me tired.
But I don’t even know if there are side effects, or if there ever was, other than being tired.
I still get the mood swings every so often, which is why I’m unsure if they’re helping, or doing anything at all.
I just don’t like the idea of always being on medication. It’s not a solution, only a temporary fix.
It takes a lot of will power to start them tho. So props to everyone who has to.
“Do you mind if I tell you a story? One you might not have heard. All the elements in your body were forged many many millions of years ago in the heart of a far away star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. These elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings! Until, eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe.”
—The Doctor (via mrsbadkrumble)
